Okay, so Saturday night I was really bored, there was nothing to do, and I was feeling really restness from just chilling out all day, so I decided to go take a walk. Konstanz is mad safe, and it was only like 11 pm, so I figured why not? At any rate, I couldn't stay in my room, and it was a really nice night.
I was walking around, checking out a bunch of cool stores I'll never remember how to get to, and about quarter to midnight I decided to take a bus back to Europahaus, mostly because I didn't much feel like making the half-hour walk. There were a bunch of really obnoxious, possibly drunk teenagers messing around at the bus-stop, who couldn't have been more than 15 or 16. As soon as I sat down they wanted to know my name, and as soon as they heard my accent they wanted to know where I was from. I said America, the one girl was immediately "do you speak english?" I said yes, she said "How are you?" "Good," I said, "and yourself?" But Random Bus Stop Girl had no idea what I'd said, and the look she gave me was pretty funny. A few minutes later all the kids left (and random bus-stop girl yelled 'I love America!' as she left, which I thought was funny), except for three of the guys who stuck around.
At this point I was flipping through my cell phone, and the three guys who'd stayed behind started talking to me, trying to get my attention. But my German isn't all that great, and it took awhile, but eventually I turned around and they started talking to me, asking me questions. Except I had NO idea what they were saying to me, so I reverted to Tina's Failproof Method for Answering Questions. This gets used whenever I'm completely in the dark, and involves alot of nodding and saying "Ja, ja, okay, ja." Usually it works out in my favor.
Except whatever it was I was answering got these three kids really excited, and suddenly they all got up, and keep really animatedly just kept repeating different variations of the question, and all I kept saying was "Ja, ja, okay." When they started throwing around monetary figures (30 Euros! Nein, nur 20!) I started to get suspicious, so I kind of stopped answering, and started asking THEM what they were asking ME. Then the slowed-speech came out, then the hand motions, then the broken English, and that's when I realized that for the last ten minutes they'd been asking me (literally) if I would fuck them and for the last ten minutes I'd been saying I would.
I spent five minutes of my life trying to explain to 15 year old German boys that no, I would not fuck them and no, I would not do it for money. Then I spent another 30 minutes of my life walking back to Europahaus (because it turned out there was no bus after all), alternately laughing and wondering whether that had actually just happened. It was only after I got home that I realized those kids had ONLY offered me 20 Euros, and then I was just pissed.
Why do these things happen to me?
7 comments:
But at least you had a somewhat "exciting" Saturday night, ja? ;-) Next time, just whip out the flashlight.
-Jennifer
HAHAHAHAHA! I know I've said you could make some decent money doing that, but $20 Euro is just effin insulting. Had I been there I would have broken their legs for you (and taken their money for myself)! Hold out for the big bucks Tina-Chan! You can totally do better than that!
-Guess
...because you are walking around a big city by yourself in the middle of the night looking like a lost but curious puppy!!!...and "ya, ya okay" only works in America!
Yeah...next time say "Nein"... ;-)
-Jennifer
Waaaaay to go tina, only you could ever get yourself into something like that, hahahaha. I suggest you know what people are saying before you agree, ESPECIALLY 15 year old boys! =P
-your little sister
GOSH tino, you could have made some extra cash!
-schrollman
oh and just for the record, the verb "ficken" is literally "to fuck". in case you need to know
--tina
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